5-24-07 Amsterdam

If you think of embarrassment as a spectrum, I'd say that I've never been more than mildly embarrassed before yesterday. I've been embarrassed several times on this trip, but none of them were comparable to how I felt when our speaker made a comment about our decisions in Iraq. Here I am American. I am not a democrat or a liberal. I am not even a college student before I am American. At home, I can exercise my freedom of speech; I can use my right to vote. Here, I am responsible for those decisions. I could feel the heat of my entire face turning read as I thought about the news stories I heard of who did and who did not support us and our decisions in Iraq. I was embarrassed of my country. I was embarrassed for not knowing what our decisions made us seem like for them. I was embarrassed for wanting to make excuses.

The campus visit to Vrije University was very nice. I've known about the binary system for a while, but it is still amazing to see it in action. I'm turning 24 next month and I still haven't decided what I plan to do for the rest of my life. Right now, I am still planning out experiences to have that will help me narrow down my options. I can't fathom making that decision at twelve. At twelve I wanted to be an animator. My aptitude tests said I should be a mime or a puppeteer. Higher Ed Administration is pretty far off from all of those. I remember being horribly upset when my career test came back. I was a very talkative kid, and I couldn't understand how I would be best at a job where I wasn't allowed to speak. The irony of the whole situation is that my current desire is to work for Sesame Street.

I wonder if there are societal status differences between the students who go to the research universities and the students who go to the professional universities. I have a friend in Switzerland. They use the same system and her track was to go to the university, but her family couldn't afford all of it. While I was visiting her, she was taking a year off to waitress and save money to pay for it. She would tell me stories of how guests would look down on her because they thought that she wasn't going to the university. I know that there is a clear separation between honors students - regular(?) students- and the at risk student in our education system. I also know that there are classism issues in America. I wonder fi the binary system supports or reinforces those problems.

After the visit Mike and I went to the Van Gogh Museum. I loved it. I spent a year studying the impressionist artists so I knew the Van Gogh story. I could see the influences of the other artists in his work, and I appreciated watching how his work changed. I don't know if Mike enjoied it as much; I'm glad we went.

Last night we went back out to the Dam. There we got to see the Amsterdam police in action, some very interesting hookah bars, and a restaurant that only served fries. In the square there was a huge crucifixion statue. I'm not sure how I missed it earlier, but fortunately I didn't miss it all together. It was neat to see Jesus through their eyes. He was still in the submissive/beaten pose, but his face was so different from what we normally see. Our Jesus face is petite, fragile, and feminine. So often in the crucifixion, he looks broken. In this statue the face was strong, full, and masculine. He looked like a Roman hero. It reminded me of art made of the Greek and Roman gods. I wonder what the difference I'm seeing is. I don't know if it is a European difference, a Protestant difference, or just one artist's preference.

5-23-07 Amsterdam

Yesterday was a good day despite my lack of sleep crankiness. As a group we went to the Anne Frank House. It was somber, but in a good way. In fact, it reminded me that I was cranky because I was traveling the world and wonderfully privileged. I guess the most cultural observations that I did there were of the tourists. It was hard to watch people being less than somber, but I suppose you can't force anyone to be respectful, especially Americans. I was disappointed in myself for how much I had forgotten about her book. I remember it affecting me in school, but now I'm starting to wonder if I was old enough to appreciate all of it. I'll have to read it again.

They had a little movie running after going though the house. It was about human rights and freedoms, and it was clearly biased and liberal. According to the pamphlet it was an EU production, but it struck me as very similar to American, liberal propaganda directed at college students. I don't know that I expected Europe to be more subtle. In fact, I don't even know if they strive for impartial and unbiased like America claims to. I value unbiased reporting, but I think that opinionated reports have their place too. Whether the Anne Frank House is a place for those opinions is something I hadn't thought about. I know what bothers me in America is the claim to be neutral when it is not. I know that some countries have a blatant and open bias for the government (usually because the networks are government controlled), and I don't think that is always good. If all of the media works on behalf of the government, and the people get upset with the government, the media won't be able to tell them anything - even if it is good or unrelated.

I knew in my head that people rode their bicycles everywhere in Europe. I even envied the stories I heard about well-sized and well-respected bicycle lanes. My head never worked out what it looks like to see people riding their bicycles everywhere. When I previously thought of bicyclists, I imagined kids, and people in sportswear. Here it is everybody and every type of attire. The men and women in their business suites is what I couldn't imagine before. It makes sense, but it still caught me by surprise to see. The women in skirts still makes me curious. Do they do something (like wear shorts underneath) that makes it ok, or is it completely a social difference? If I rode a bike with a skirt I would be extremely self conscious. Short skirts I would worry about riding up and long skirts I would worry about them flapping against the tire and possibly getting stuck in the spokes.

Bicycle Parking Deck

5-22-07 Amsterdam

A friend recently returned from Spain which reminded me that I have not shared my Europe journal yet. So for the next couple weeks, I'll be sharing my journal. This journal was an assignment for the cultural diversity class, but the content and topics were not chosen for us.

I've been accused of having Disney radar before, and it just might be true. The very first thing that I saw in Amsterdam was a kid in a Cars t-shirt waiting for someone to get off the plane. It made me smile. I like it when kids like the movies that I like. Then I had to stop and think about how American Cars is. It is very American.It is about how our country changed when the small towns on the interstate were bypassed. Does that mean I should feel the same way about kids here liking Cars as I do about McDonalds? I realize that Disney is corporate and I understand the concept of McWorld, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to share my favorite movies. Those fairy tales are European stories, and no matter how much I love Ariel, that is not how the story goes. Is Disney depriving them of their own culture? In America Disney was the story & everything else was a version. As much as I enjoy Disney, I hope that it is not like that here.